Two Blocks From Reality

Two Blocks From Reality
You almost have to laugh about it.

The same images, situations,

Passing by my eyes

Like peering at telephone

Poles out a speeding car window.

All so similar in

Temperature and timing,

Waiting just long enough,

Waiting until I’ve let down my

Guard.

Although the lips and the brain

Behind were different,

The message, feeling, the same.

The pain issued was repeatedly

Divided unequally.

I usually receive it quietly.

Maybe that’s the problem.

If I were to fall to my knees

Weep uncontrollably,

Confessing my pain, it still wouldn’t change anything.

Looking at the past information

I could arrive at a

Rational answer.

Funny how a rational answer

Could surface from irrational behavior.

I must deliver the impression

That pain can not penetrate me, for

I am infinitely strong.

The pain I feel is silent,

Muted by my fear of hearing myself speak of my pain.

As ivy, it grows inside,

Winding and curling around

My organs, my breath, my

Battered soul.

Squeezing tighter-

Pushing all the fear, the anger, the sorrow,

The solitude up into my throat

Where it sits-

Bubbling and stewing.

As it fills up it rises to my brain.

I feel trapped.

Like a proud group of soldiers surround,

I must succumb, surrender

And admit that I can take

No more.

I’ve played my last match.

Some souls are complete

As halves

And some halves are incomplete

As wholes.

You almost have to laugh about it.